


What Have I done?

by Palefire73



Series: The Attempted Murder of Loki Laufeyson [2]
Category: Loki - Fandom
Genre: Asgard, Betrayal, F/M, Helheimr, Loki - Freeform, Loki's Child, Reanimation, Sequel, Underworld, Yggdrasil - Freeform, devastated Loki, kidnap, secret birth, series link
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-13
Updated: 2015-02-02
Packaged: 2018-03-07 08:52:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3168893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Palefire73/pseuds/Palefire73
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki experiences emotions he thought long dead when he finds out the truth about his would-be assassin. This short sequel explores what he did next. Requested by http://maddchaos.deviantart.com/</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Loki's Lament

This is a sequel to "Another Time, Another Place" as requested on Deviant Art and another site. If you cannot (mature rating), or do not wish to read that first, here is a brief synopsis ( **SPOILER**  for "Another Time, Another Place" ahead):  
  
  
  


 

 

 

 

##### Loki sits on the throne of Asgard in his Jotuun form and is determined to bring about Ragnarok.

##### An underground faction sends a young girl undercover to try to prevent this madness. She failed.

 

 

 

  
 **~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**  
  
  
 _How had it come to this?_

 

_Where was the point in his life at which he had taken the first step down the dark path that had brought him here?_

 

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

 

 

It was the second day that the morgue attendants had arrived to carry out their work, only to find that the door behind which the body of the traitor lay was frozen solid and could not be breached.

 

Loki was within and was completely ignoring all attempts to communicate with him. Elders and advisors, generals and healers had all arrived to plead with their King to open the door and come out, but to no avail. The council was doing all it could to keep Asgard on an even keel in the absence of the monarch, but word was spreading throughout the magical city and, indeed, to the other realms about the situation. There were dissident rumblings and reports that factions opposing Loki’s dictatorship were gaining strength and numbers. An undercurrent of fear following the execution was starting to infect Asgard and all of a sudden she seemed to be losing her status as the ruling city and protector of the nine realms.

 

The population were bemoaning the loss of Odin and Frigga and the aeons of peace they had enjoyed under their rule. They wondered at the disappearance of Thor, which had taken place shortly before Loki had revealed he had been impersonating the All-Father and that he was of Jotúun descent. Those voices that were once secretive whispers in shady taverns now boldly opposed his rule and started to call for his deposition.

 

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

 

 

Loki sat on the floor with his back against the wall. No longer in his royal armoured apparel, the shabby green shirt and black leather trousers afforded him little protection against the sub-zero temperature of the morgue. It did not matter, however; he was oblivious to his surroundings as his blue arms embraced the cold, limp form of his dead lover, Aida. The girl who had captivated and excited him, who had accepted his passionate and often violent sexual attention. The girl who had believed in her cause enough to attempt to take his life despite carrying his child.

 

And now they were both dead.

 

A terrible pain had nestled within Loki’s breast when he learned of her pregnancy. For he had only learned once she was dead, in a letter she had written weeks before she had tried to kill him. It would have been too late anyway; even if he had spared her the gallows two days ago, there was no way the child had still been alive. Not after the way he had treated her. Imprisoning her. Starving her. Forgetting her. Those three months she spent rotting in a tiny darkened cell while he had searched out her cohorts had turned her from an exotic and alluring Elven-Jotúun half-breed into a pale grey shadow. Her vibrant and sensuous nature had decayed into a silent madness.

 

She had, he now realised, tried to tell him. On the way from her room that night, as he had dragged her to the prison wing, there had been a moment where she had been about to plead – if not for her own – then for the life of their unborn child. The child whom he now realised was that connection he had felt yet refused to acknowledge. In his arrogance and narcissism, he had ignored the beginnings of feelings he had had for this girl and used her instead for his own sexual gratification and as a trophy to show off his regal prowess to his subjects.

 

And so in that corridor where she had begged at his feet, he had shouted her down, belittled her and terrified her into silence. Then he had abandoned her.

 

Yet, why not? She had attempted the ultimate crime: regicide. If he wanted to take it further, he could have implied attempted deicide. In either case it was treason of the highest order and was punishable by death. It was she who had risked her life in the attempt to end his. There was purposeful concealment of her condition from him on her part – the baby was so far along that she must have known she was expecting for a long time before she acted against him.

 

But should he not have at least suspected? Would he, as the God of Lies, not have detected the way she covered up her condition if he had been less interested in her as a sexual resource and more interested in her as a person?

 

Freeing himself momentarily from his self-analysis and depressing recollection of events, Loki looked down at his handiwork. Ever since he had blasted the door with frost and sealed it, he had been lost in a miasma of soul-searching, paranoia and – dare he admit it – heartache. As he had sat holding Aida’s lifeless body, he had slowly transformed her appearance. Her gown was once again the beautiful black silken vision it had been at the feast that night. The dirt was gone from her pale grey skin and her nails were smooth, polished and free of blood. He was now using his magic to clean and disentangle her raven-black locks, returning them to their shining glory. He did not know why he was doing all this, only that it somehow felt right.

 

But there was one thing he could not do. He could not bring her back – nor could he bring back their child. His child. His child………

 

But there was someone who could.

 


	2. Loki's Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The timeline I have introduced in this chapter for my "bad" Loki Universe:
> 
> * Loki takes the Throne as Odin (Odin's location is not written yet - EASTER EGG) - ******UPDATE!!!! This is now written and is called "I Am Loki!" with three parts******  
> * Erika discovers him ("Am I Truly A Monster", then "Diaries")  
> * He is the victim of poison and starts to try to uncover the culprits ("Diaries")  
> * He discovers a Midgardian on Svartalfheimr ("To Tame A God")  
> * He defeats Thor in a fight and removes him from public life in Asgard (not written yet - EASTER EGG!) - ******UPDATE!!!!! This is now written and is one of the storylines in "States Of A God's Heart" ******  
> * He finally discovers who poisoned him ("Diaries" not written yet - EASTER EGG!) - ******UPDATE!!!!! This is now in "Diaries" AND overlaps in "States Of A Gods Heart" ******  
> * He reveals his Jotuun heritage to the Asgardian subjects  
> * Aida becomes his lover ("In Another Time, Another Place")  
> * He decides to see if he can somehow bring Aida and his child back ("What Have I Done?")
> 
> And now he is off to Helheimr for a big, big favour................
> 
> I hope it makes sense!!!

### A/N In this case, it is the  _story_  of "My" Loki. Some of it has been loosely based on Marvel ideas, some on Nordic myth, all of it on the inestimable performance of his mortal actor Thomas William Hiddleston and every scrap of it on my own imagination. This attempts to introduce a timeline for "My" Loki, placing all my "post Thor:TDW film" tales (i.e. on the Throne of Asgard) in chronological order. There may even be a couple of Easter Eggs á la Marvel-style for readers who know my stories fairly well!

 

### ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

  
Loki knew what he needed to do. To at least try to achieve. Or forever berate himself for giving up. He encased Aida’s body in a deep protective, magical ice to prevent any deterioration in her mortal remains, and then exited the morgue.

 

Dressed in his imposing Royal armoured livery again and standing proudly before his cowering subjects, he commanded the council to take to task any traitors and hang them in public for all to see what would happen to those who would question the crown. He then announced he had a mission to carry out and appointed his Warmaster general as his deputy while he was gone. He knew his rule was in jeopardy. He knew opposition was growing, but he simply could not concentrate upon his royal duties with this tragedy hanging over him. It was yet another in a catalogue of misfortune and miscalculation that had plagued him since the fall into the abyss.

 

The devious ruse he had cooked up to take the throne had been an ephemeral highlight in the troubles he seemed to be continually facing, causing his goal of Ragnarok to recede ever further. Erika came into his life a few weeks later quite by accident and proved to be a feisty, brave and loyal person. Whether it was through fear or not, he did not know. But after a while it became clear he needed someone who knew of his existence and he began to depend on her more and more. But misfortune was heading towards him again.

 

Ever since the death, by Thor’s hand, of the lost Midgardian he had captured on Svartalfheimr whilst cleaning up the evidence of his having survived being run through by Kurse, he had vowed he would not allow a bond to grow between anyone and himself again. The only person who was ever-present in his life who he depended on to a certain extent and whom he would be sorry to lose was his maid, Erika. But that was for incredibly complex reasons even he did not understand and their relationship was difficult to define, except to say it had a certain symbiosis. Despite his appalling treatment of the Midgardian mortal who had fallen by misadventure into his world, eventually a connection had formed between them, swiftly evolving into their becoming lovers. She had even made himself doubt his intention to bring about the destruction of Asgard. That had all changed the day she had died having been dealt a deadly blow by Mjolnir when Thor discovered he was still alive. Anger, bitterness and hatred towards Thor had increased tenfold within Loki and, after a terrible fight he had ensured the heir of Odin would not be seen in Asgard for a very long time.

 

Despite repeatedly being advised not to by Erika, Loki then revealed his presence to the council and soon after to the general population. There was very little they could do; Odin and Thor had both disappeared and Loki claimed to know not where. He claimed Odin had requested he stay on the throne in disguise to allow peace to be restored after the war with Malekith, but now that he could not be found, the throne naturally fell to his younger son. Loki gave himself a month to become firmly established as the ruler of Asgard, and it worked.

 

       

One day, after she had asked him an infuriating question, Erika had been scared as his eyes turned their Jotúun red in anger. He had been the victim of an attempt to poison him to death using a compound specific to Jotúuns, which failed, but only just. He became convinced that someone had seen the same thing happen to his eyes and had subsequently tried to kill him quietly. It took a long time, but eventually – using means that abused his relationship with Erika as her employer – he rooted out the culprits and made examples of them to the general population. In fact, their skeletons were still displayed prominently. Then he had revealed his true heritage to his subjects, showing them what Odin had tried his best to prevent – a Frost Giant sitting on the Throne of Asgard. He had thought that this, along with the executions of the traitors would quash any future rebellion. As for him, events had damaged his ability to trust people even more than ever and he had distanced himself from personal relationships with anyone – other than his loyal maid, Erika.

 

That is why his attraction to Aida, the Jotúun-Elf half-breed, had taken him by surprise. It was possibly a misguided sense of kinship due to her genetic heritage, but his fight against it had not prevailed. And he had been hurt by it. Oh – she had failed to kill him, but more through luck than anything. She had taken full advantage of his greatest weakness – his belief that he was infallible. By appealing to the vain and lascivious side of his nature, she had caused him to ignore the voice that warned him over and again to trust no one. He had to give her credit for her wiles.

 

A small part of Loki now questioned what he was about to do – why not leave things as they were and batten down the hatches? Bring on board the Einherjar, root out any dissenters and then call in his favours to bring about the downfall of this proud realm. Closeness to others was weakness, sentiment! It exposed him to harm and would lead to his downfall! Why pursue this pathetic quest? It would lead to no good.

 

But Loki fought against these doubts. No! He needed to try – to take this chance. His goal may well be to destroy everything to do with the Odinson Dynasty, but that did not mean he did not envisage a future for his own line. Although he already had several children, three were outcasts, one was Odin’s former steed, and Sigyn’s offspring? Well, they were not royal blood, really. They were hardly fit and certainly not raised to rule. No, he needed to preserve the House of Laufeyson through other means.

 

Loki steeled himself and started out for Helheimr.


	3. Loki's Endeavour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki must make the journey to Helheimr, but he needs a guide. And why is he going there, of all places?  
> In this I have really stuck my neck out and incorporated a lot of Nordic Mythological stuff from various sources. The main one, because it is easy to read, is this:
> 
> norse-mythology.org/

Approaching the grandest of the Royal Stables, Loki had a momentary doubt as to what he was going to do. He was about to enlist the help of the only child he had borne himself, Sleipnir. It wasn’t as if he never saw the grey eight-legged stallion, it was just that it was quite difficult to engage with an equine child as one might an Aesir or Jotúun. Loki opened the mighty oaken carved doors and entered the giant and luxurious stable of the horse that had been the steed of the All-Father.

“Sleipnir,” he said, approaching the handsome beast “my son.”

Sleipnir turned his head towards his mother and eyed him up warily.

“I must ask of you a boon.” said Loki “I needs must go to Helheimr and I need your guidance for the journey.” He reached up to the huge beast’s nose and stroked it.

There was no verbal communication, but Sleipnir lowered his mighty head as if in a bow to his mother and King, signalling his willingness to aid him in his quest. For the road to Helheimr was beset with problems and was perilous for those who chose to try the journey without the help of one who knew the way.

Loki motioned to the head groom, who proceeded to dress Sleipnir in his tackle. He made a magnificent sight; the crest on all the parts of the leather and metal garb had Loki’s colours as his sire. Black leather was trimmed in softer green cloth to prevent rubbing and the metal was of a gold colour. Once the straps were secured and everything in place, Loki mounted the great grey steed and headed out of the stables. He now relinquished control to Sleipnir. Loki did not know the way to Helheimr and he had to trust in Sleipnir to convey him there safely.

 

After some time of following a narrow track made by goats in the scrubland found in parts of the foothills of the Mountain ofAsgard, Sleipnir made his way towards a cliff of cracked rock, picking his way round fallen boulders and clumps of tough grass. Seeming to approach an impenetrable wall of striated grey, Loki was then surprised to find they had entered a hidden pathway which wound narrowly between two sheer walls which seemed to stretch up to the very heavens themselves. As the great beast made progress, the dim light that had followed them was quickly lost and blackness engulfed them. Loki tightened his grip on the reins and hunched over in the saddle, finding it difficult to trust that his mount knew where he was going. After what seemed like hours of swaying in the saddle in the pitch dark, a faint glow appeared far ahead and Loki almost sighed in relief at the sight.

As the glow neared, Loki could see that it had shape to it; it was not simply a light source – it had substance. The form of it became clear as they arrived and he stared in wonder.

 

This was Yggdrasil! The light was twisted around in great ridges vertically in front of him. As he looked up, he saw the great branches split off, supporting the heavens above and as he looked down, he saw the massive trunk disappear out of sight. He lurched in the saddle as Sleipnir started forward once again and started to descend a gigantic staircase carved into the living light of the Almighty Ash. He lost track of time as the great horse descended round and round, down and down the vast steps encircling the colossal girth of the tree of life. Eventually, having dozed in the saddle several times, Loki awoke to feel the forward momentum on an even surface once more. But after the ever present life-giving glow of the tree, the valley horse and rider now entered was again Stygian in its darkness and Loki had to trust to Sleipnir again.

Days passed and Loki started to doubt that progress was even being made. Several times he considered asking his son to turn around, but he knew he had to persevere or never see Aida again. Tirelessly, the eight-legged beast plodded on, seemingly in a confident way. Finally, as he thought he would never see daylight again, Loki heard a noise from in front of them. Slowly, a great river came into view. And it was across their path. As it became clearer, Loki saw with wonder that the torrent that barred their way was made up of weapons; swords, maces, axes and javelins tumbled along in a swift current of sharp metal agents of death. Sleipnir veered to one side and continued along the bank of the river for some way and Loki saw that he was heading for a bridge.

 

Upon the great bridge that spanned the deadly river stood a formidable giantess, brandishing a wicked looking broadsword that was as long as Loki was tall.

 

“Who are you that comes this way?” She demanded.

“I am Loki, son of Laufey and ruler of Asgard. Who are you that would bar the way?” Loki replied, not quite sure whether to defer to this formidable female or to demonstrate fearlessness.  
“I am Móðguðr and I stand upon Gjallarbrú which spans Gjöll.” The giantess peered down at Loki and he found it difficult to return her stony gaze. “You are clearly not dead – your bearer may have eight legs, but only one head. This not a bier you approach Helheimr upon. What is your purpose here?”  
“I search for my daughter, who is the ruler and mistress of the realm Helheimr. I wish to see Hel. I am Loki, her father!” Loki jutted out his chin in a show of confidence and entitlement.

Móðguðr considered this for a fair amount of time and Loki grew restless in his saddle. Just as he was wondering if his magic would have any influence, she turned her imposing gaze upon him and stepped aside.

“You may pass. You might want to take the steps to the right……” Loki winced as a similar suggestion briefly haunted him.

 

Horse and rider descended yet more steps, then started along a road littered with weapons, armour and bones. Eventually an incredibly tall fence appeared which spread off to the left and right infinitely. There was a gate set in the middle, towards which the road led and Loki sighed in relief; it seemed they had reached their destination, for this was Helgrindr, the Fence of Hel.

To his surprise, Sleipnir stopped. He then paced to the right and then to the left and then back again, his great head turned towards the fence as if sizing it up. The huge horse then broke into a trot and Loki gripped tight with his knees and held tightly to the reins. Sleipnir accelerated into a canter and circled back along the track. As he came about to face Hel once more, he gathered himself and began to gallop at great speed directly towards the lofty fence. The acceleration was mind-blowing and Loki held on for dear life as flames burst out from Sleipnir’s hooves. As they approached the fence he feared just what was going to happen and then he felt the horse bunch his muscles beneath him. Sleipnir leapt high in the air and cleared the top of the fence easily, now flying on a path of flames generated by the eight scorching horseshoes upon his hooves.

 

They landed in a courtyard in front of an immense mansion and trotted up towards the portico at the front. Sitting in a rocking chair was a woman of a curious appearance. On the one side, she had a vaguely bluish cast and a dour expression. On the other, she was as a corpse, ugly to behold.

 

“Hello father.”

 


	4. Loki's Discovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, he made it. Has the journey been worth it?
> 
>  
> 
> Really sorry!! This was supposed to be two chapters of answers to the questions left at the end of "In Another Time, Another Place (Loki x OC)". But my pen has got a life of its own and the myths have given it more life! I hope this will turn out to be an interesting sequel even if it is getting longer and longer!!!

Loki dismounted Sleipnir and approached the mistress of the underworld. Briefly pecking a small kiss on the blue cheek, he turned his most winning smile upon her.

“Hello, daughter! How is life in this, er……  _extensive_  realm?” He asked, glancing at their surroundings.

“Oh, it is bearable, dear father. The dead continue to flock here, your army continues to grow as we agreed and, of course, I have my pet……” she stroked the shining locks of a figure sitting at her feet.

“Ah, yes. How is Baldur?” chuckled Loki. “I take it my little gift still pleases you?”

Hel raised her living eye to look at the God of Mischief standing before her.

 

“What do you want, Father?”

 

There was no fooling his daughter Loki realised quickly and he decided to get straight to the point. Helheimr was decidedly depressing and his daughter – well, she dealt with dead people and he was very fond of keeping his status of being alive and well.

 

“I have come to ask a great favour of you, Hel. I do not do so lightly. I have deliberated long over this, but I fear time is running out for it to be granted……” He knelt in front of her and clasped the hand that still had flesh clothing its bones. He hated doing this – it was completely against his nature – but he was desperate for her to grant his request. But before he could voice it, Hel spoke.

“It is the girl and the unborn child, is it not?” she frowned with the side of her face that still had the muscles capable of doing so and leaned towards him. “Is this……  _sentiment_  I detect in you, father?” her skeletal fingers caressed his pale cheek and he suppressed a shudder as he met her eye steadily. “What has happened to make you so soft in your new role as the ruler of Asgard?! Don’t tell me it was the girl?!” She laughed – a harsh barking sound – and slumped back in her chair, rocking it backwards and forwards.

 

Loki rose to his feet and looked down at her, his anger boiling deep inside him, but maintaining a cool exterior. “Yes daughter. It is the woman, Aida and her unborn child. They crossed two days ago….” he was cut off by her callous cackle.

“But the child did  _not_ , dear father!” She stopped rocking her chair and patted Baldur’s shoulder. He raised his drooping head and pulled a blanket from his lap. Lying there in a peaceful slumber was a tiny blue baby boy, with delicately pointed ears and the faint beginnings of black hairs scattered on his head.

 

Loki gasped and dropped to his knees, the prickle of tears behind his emerald green eyes. He looked up at Hel, who was sitting there with a satisfied smirk on her ugly countenance.

“This little one has been here for a whole  _week_!” She sneered, “Long before you killed his mother! He is my half-brother, is he not?” Loki looked on as his daughter plucked the baby from Baldur’s arms and cradled him close to her bony rotten shoulder. “He is such a little treasure.” she cooed “You would hardly know he was here. So quiet, so tiny. So…..  _perfect._ ” She threw a sly look at her father, who was watching her with a guarded expression on his face. “Oh, I’m  _sorry,_  father. How callous of me! I am sure you must be aching to hold him! It looks like your sixth attempt at a son would have actually not been that bad – had he lived.”

 

He seethed inside at the hurtful and spiteful remarks Hel was making, but the effort Loki required to not allow his tears to manifest themselves meant he had to hold his tongue. As his half-zombie daughter handed his son to him, he bit back venomous retorts. He needed Hel to be on his side and it would not do to jeopardise his mission with rash insults. Disturbed from his sleep by being handed from one person to another, the baby boy stirred and stretched out a feeble blue arm. His tiny fingers curled around Loki’s thumb and once again he felt alien emotions rise within him. He caressed the soft downy head and stood transfixed as a pair of red eyes opened and blinked in the dead half-light that existed in Helheimr. This was his child – his  _son_. And he did not belong here in the underworld.

 

The sound of a door opening caught his attention and he tore his gaze away from the beautiful child he held in his arms. When he saw who descended the few steps from the font door of the mansion, he sucked in his breath. The tall graceful woman who approached Hel with a tray bearing drinks was none other than Aida. She was dressed in the newly restored black gown, her raven-black hair cascaded over her shoulders in a glossy curtain and her skin here in Helheimr was back in its radiant Jotúun blue. She realised there was someone new present and turned her eyes, which were once again rich red in colour, upon him and then upon her son in his arms. Fear creased her features and she turned desperately towards Hel.

 

“No! No, I beg you; do not let that monster take my son away!”

 

Hel grinned wildly on the side of her face that could manage it, sat back in her chair behind Baldur and leaned forward in her sick excitement at this development, draping her arms over the shoulders of her pet.

 

“Why, Aida, darling! Thank you for bringing us refreshment. I believe you…” she coughed delicately, “…. know our visitor? Loki – my father?”

Aida glanced at Hel anxiously and placed the tray on a small table. She approached Loki with her arms out, her expression begging him to give the child up. Loki reluctantly relinquished his hold on his son and he looked into Aida’s eyes. He wanted to say so much, but his throat locked and he realised he did not want an audience in his malicious daughter anyway. Instead, he leaned forward and gently drew Aida and their son into his embrace and kissed her. Just a gentle meeting of their lips, but he hoped it would convey more to her than he could with mere words. Breaking away, he bent to kiss the babe’s head and then he stepped back.

 

Aida searched his eyes with her own, clearly shocked by what he had done and not sure how to react. Hel came to the rescue.

 

“Aida, precious one. I am sure your son is in quite the need for a rest. Why don’t you take him to the nursery and put him down for a nap?” Aida seemed to snap out of it and she turned away to disappear inside the huge mansion, while Loki watched her helplessly.


	5. Loki's Request

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, Loki is at the mercy of his daughter, Hel. Will she grant his request? I've stuck in a few more Nordic bits n bobs for interest as well. Fulla really was Frigga's Lady-In-Waiting and Hel likes to test her supplicants.

“Well!” gushed Hel “What a reunion! What a shame you really do need to be getting back to the land of the living, is it not, father?” She looked at him over the rim of her goblet and he tried not to stare as the liquid poured down through her skeletal throat and disappeared under her gown, only to add fresh stains on the side that covered the part of her that was but a rotting corpse.

“Hel,” he started.  
“Yes, father?” Hel answered too quickly in a falsely cheerful voice.  
“Hel, I need to ask something of you.” Loki persevered. When she simply raised the eyebrow over her living eye questioningly, he continued. She was obviously not going to make this easy.

“Hel, I wish you to return Aida and my son to Asgard. I know you have the power to turn souls away and you have returned them to the land of the living before.” He looked pointedly at Baldur.

Hel steepled her fingers underneath her chin and regarded the God of Mischief as he stood before her.

“Oh, father, I would love to grant your request,” she said “only……” She gave wistful far away look and sighed melodramatically.  
“What is it, Hel?” asked Loki, only just keeping a rein on his temper.  
“Well, good souls are hard to come by and I was just getting used to having some new company……” She looked at Loki and pouted. Not entirely successfully, as she only had half a mouth to do it with. But he got the idea.

“You require a trade.” he said.  
“It would certainly make things…… easier.” A smile spread on the living half of her face.  
“Will Aida and my son survive the restoration to their mortal remains?” Asked Loki, not allowing any hope to ignite so soon in the negotiations.  
“If you convey her body to a soul forge before I send their souls back, then they will be just fine. It will take time for them to be completely better, though.” A look of concern briefly flashed across her face “Aida will have to give birth immediately, though; the cord is already severed here in the spirit world.”

“That is not a problem.” Said Loki “What is your…. requirement?”

“Well, it was so nice to have a girlfriend. Someone to talk to, someone who can braid my hair….” Loki saw that her living hair was indeed beautifully styled – in stark contrast to the stubbly tufts sticking to her skull on the dead half of her head. “Do you have any girls about the Palace who are good attendants? Efficient in the housekeeping department? Eager to serve? …Loyal?...... Caring?” Hel put on a look of divulging a trade secret. “Someone who understands what it means to be the companion of and who knows how attend to every need of someone in the position of great power and responsibility?”

Loki detected a slyness creeping into his daughter’s voice and uneasiness pervaded his mind. Surely she could not be asking for Erika? The one person he would be unwilling to part with, yet who fitted Hel’s description perfectly. No. He would not agree to that.

“So you require a maid? A Lady-In-Waiting - is that what you are saying?” He asked.

“Of a kind yes, but she would have to be a very special one. Tried and tested, you know? Proven to be exceptionally discreet with her employer’s private affairs and very good at keeping them happy. In the short time that Aida has been here,” Hel sighed heavily and looked lost in thought, “we have become fast friends.”

 

Loki was not fooled by this charade. He knew exactly what Hel was doing; she was testing him. Testing how much he really wanted Aida and his son back. But she was also testing just what he would be willing to give to her in exchange; how much he valued her as an ally and, yes, as his daughter. The bitch! Even though he was desperate to reclaim his son, Loki was determined that he would not give Erika up. She had become too important to him and not even he could say why exactly. He had almost caused her to pass to the underworld by accident himself on occasion, so to send her here willingly was out of the question.

 

Then he had an idea. Fulla, his mother’s former lady-in-waiting, was still resident at the Palace, training new girls in their duties. She would be more than a fair exchange and not that hard to bring here. Although he had been reasonably fond of the woman as he had been growing up, all she did now was serve as a reminder that Frigga was no longer around. He certainly would not miss her.

Loki smiled. “Very well. You shall have your female servant and companion. There is someone close to me who is incredibly skilled, loyal and experienced and she is perfect for the ruler of somewhere such as Helheimr, what with its status and all it’s apparent…….. Glory.” He sneered briefly, then raised a questioning eyebrow. “How do you want to do this?”

Hel, who was inwardly doing somersaults over what she thought was a small victory against her father, stood abruptly and clapped her mismatched hands together.

“No time like the present!” she beamed, which was a grotesque sight on her half-dead face. “Summon my big brother and ride back to Asgard. Take Aida’s remains – you did preserve her, I take it?” Loki nodded “Good, because the better the state of the physical shell, the quicker the process of recovery! You are pushing things with your son, since you caused his death sooner than his mother’s, but the soul forge, his life force and a little bit of magic should see him right. Take her body straight to the soul forge. She will have little to no memory of her time here and I am sure you can modify whatever you find in her delicate little mind to suit your own ends anyway. I will send them back ten days hence – that should give you enough time to return and to prepare things.”

She descended the steps from the porch and walked up to Loki.

“Now, daddy,” she said, turning a singular puppy eye up to him in the one living socket in her head, “you have a safe journey home. I would hate for you to have come all this way to visit me, only to end up staying here forever!” She stood up on her tip toes and kissed his pale cheek. “You had better hurry, now. They cannot come back if there is nothing for them to live in!”

 

Loki turned to Sleipnir, who had wandered over to see how things were going. He put his foot in the stirrup and mounted the great grey beast effortlessly. Looking down at his daughter, who looked particularly pleased with herself, he said:

“I will send your maid over as soon as both Aida and my son draw breath.” He smiled in a show of affection that only went skin-deep “Thank you for this, daughter. Once the time is ripe, I shall unleash the glorious army you are assembling and you, along with your siblings, shall occupy your places as the children of the rightful King of the Nine Realms.”

Taking the reins, he turned Sleipnir about and set off back for Asgard, the tiniest glimmer of hope now kindling a white light within his heart.

 

The journey back dragged interminably, seeming to take twice as long as the one to Helheimr. Loki was impatient to get back to arrange the transfer of Aida’s body to the Palace healing rooms, where the soul forge reserved for the members of the royal family was. But Sleipnir was not to be rushed in his pace and Loki was forced to settle back in the saddle and trust his son to get him home in time.


	6. Loki's Forfeit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki returns to Asgard, but he finds things have changed in his absence. 
> 
> Part 6 of the sequel to: In Another Time, Another Place (Loki x OC) Ch1.

Sleipnir dutifully carried his mother away from the realm of Helheimr, where his half sister now enjoyed a last few days as her baby half-brother’s babysitter and socialising with her father’s lover, secure in the knowledge that she had triumphed over him in the battle of wills regarding the exchange to be made.

 

Loki and Sleipnir approached the bridge,  _Gjallarbrú,_ over the river _Gjöll,_ upon which the giantess, _Móðguðr,_ still presided.

“Had enough of the underworld, Jotúun?” She asked, “You do not hold your true form – why is that?”  
“It is not of your concern!” snapped Loki, “I display whatever form I deem to be appropriate that particular day. Now, I wish to return to Asgard. May we pass?” He looked down at the never ending flow of swords, axes and other weapons as he spoke.

The giantess stood to one side. “Of course,” she said, “there is no place for the living in Helheimr. Although I believe there is not much time left to pass before a great many more will be trying to make the journey back from that realm.” She looked intensely at Loki. “There are dark times ahead.”

“Only for those who deserve them!” snarled Loki and he urged Sleipnir across the bridge. “May we never meet again!” he saidto  _Móðguðr_ as he rode away.

Eventually, Sleipnir approached the great tree of Yggdrasil and ascended the steps around the gigantic illuminated trunk to finally reach the realm of Asgard. The journey along the darkened trail was infuriatingly slow, but eventually he could see a dim glow of daylight and he knew their destination was not far away. And not a moment too soon; he had been gone from the Palace for over two weeks. Gods alone knew what had happened within that time. Sleipnir picked his way carefully over strewn rocks within the narrow winding crevasse and, at long last, emerged into the Asgardian sunshine.

Loki blinked in the bright daylight; a stark contrast to the dim light of the pathway behind and looked around. As things became clear and he got his bearings, he realised something was wrong. Something was very wrong. Thick black columns of smoke rose in random places over the vista in front of him; Asgard was on fire.

 

Sleipnir broke into a gallop and they descended the Mountain of Asgard. They rode at breakneck speed through the forest of the lowlands and down a bridleway that led directly to the Palace stables. As they approached, Loki could hear shouts and clattering as people ran amok, trying to put out the flames and to calm the horses down. Grooms and stable boys were leading the terrified animals out and up the bridleway, obviously taking them to outlying paddocks where they would be safe away from the conflagration that threatened to engulf the whole stable block. Loki thundered into the yard and yelled at the nearest groom.

 

“What is this? What is afoot?” he demanded.  
“Sire! Oh, thank the Gods you are back. Sire, there has been an attempt at a coup!”

Loki dismounted Sleipnir, “Go my son,” he said, “go to the paddocks where you will be safe!” The great beast bowed his head and nuzzled Loki’s hand. Then he turned about and trotted away to follow the rest of the horses.

Loki whirled around and headed to the Palace to see the extent of the damage and to find someone to give him a full report. But there was only one part of the Palace he was truly bothered about.

 

With his golden battle armour, long leather surcoat and green cloak, topped with that imposing golden horned helmet, Loki made for an impressive figure as he stormed through the Palace. The war room was on the way to the morgue and he strode in to find the elders and his Warmaster around the logistics table.

“You!” he thundered, pointing at the Warmaster. “With me. We will talk on the way.”

The Warmaster, knowing it was unwise to argue with his King and seeing the signs of the Jotúun emerging, quickly left instructions with his general and joined Loki as he swept from the room.

Although Asgardians generally are tall majestic creatures, those amongst them who could call themselves Gods had a presence quite unlike anyone else. As the Warmaster revealed the details of the attempted coup, Loki’s temper deteriorated and with his increasing anger, the pale Asgardian visage faded away to be replaced by his true Jotúun blue. The soldiers, guards and servants who were just managing to fight off the rebels and keep the fires at bay scattered before the terrifying sight of their Monarch on the rampage; he was a formidable and deadly sight.

 

 _Why had the journey taken so long?_  Loki’s thoughts raced through his mind. He had known things were precarious when he left Asgard to go on his quest, but he had not expected to come back to this. It stank of a conspiracy against him. As they neared the healing wing of the Palace, his concerns deepened.  _Where were the healers? Why were the wounded not making their way here to be tended to?_  Then he saw it. And heard it. In the distance, down the wide hallway that led to the healing rooms, he could see a red glow upon thick boiling plumes of black smoke erupting from the direction of the soul forges and the morgue. Servants were desperately throwing water in the direction of the flames to try to quench them, but to no avail. As he neared them, the searing heat hit him and he realised there could be no safe passage this way. He grabbed the nearest guard, who was covered in soot and had sustained burns to his face.

 

“What news, man?” he shouted.  
“Sire! By the Gods, Sire – we cannot get through!” The guard cast a horrified glance towards the flames as screams erupted from beyond them.

Loki conjured the Casket Of Ancient Winters and blasted it at the flames, instantly killing them. Immediately, the servants ran forwards to see if there was anyone in the rooms beyond, indeed to see if the healing rooms were still intact off the corridor.

“Sire,” pleaded the guard, “you need to go to the morgue. It is where all this started! They attacked here and the Throne room. Sire, it was our own people. Soldiers and guards from our own ranks!” Tears gathered in the guard’s eyes as the full impact of the betrayal dawned on him fully. Loki felt a hollow stab of fear in his belly. He turned to the guard and marked him. “Thank you, my good man.” He said, clasping him round the back of his neck in a brief show of gratitude and camaraderie. “Accompany us.” The guard and the Warmaster followed Loki as he began to run down the corridor to the morgue. As he turned the corner at the end, he came to a sudden halt.

 

The ornate marble walls were scorched and blackened with soot. All the furniture and other paraphernalia had been burnt to virtually nothing and there were shapes on the floor that had possibly once been the people here. The door to the room where the bodies were kept – and where he had encased Aida in his protective magical ice had been blown off in some kind of explosion and the wall surrounding it was in ruins. Beyond, the ceiling had partially collapsed and there was evidence of an intense fire. The morgue was utterly destroyed. Loki made to rush forwards towards the devastation and ruin, but the guard and Warmaster both grabbed at him, impeding him.

“Sire!” Yelled the Warmaster “It is too dangerous!”

Loki spun round, “I am a  _God_  you dull creature,” he thundered, “there is no danger for me there!” He made towards the ruined room again, but stopped when he reached where the door should have been.

 

There was nothing left. Whatever it was that had been used to destroy this room and his magical protection of Aida had had some enchantment involved. He could sense the residual magic as it lingered over the devastation. A room built of solid marble and with metal fittings could not have burned with such intensity as this. There was nothing. The cold storage was completely gone; melted then vapourised somehow. The metal gurneys used to transport bodies, the medical instruments – all gone. All that was left was melted metal and blackened, scorched stone. There was nothing.

Loki sank to his knees as the implications hit home. In the background, he could hear the distant battle cries as those still loyal to the throne fought to save the monarchy of Asgard. He could hear the screams of the civilians and servants as they perished by fire or by sword. But they meant nothing.

Nothing. Nothing was left. His journey to Helheimr had been an exercise in sentiment and futility and had endangered Asgard herself.

Asgard 

 

His realm.

 

 _His_  realm! A sudden surge of anger rose within him and he leapt to his feet. Whirling around, he addressed his Warmaster.

“To me! We end this – NOW!”

Summoning Gungnir, Loki strode away from the morgue in the direction of the Throne Room.

 

He had lost his son.

 

He would not lose Asgard.

 


	7. Loki's Legacy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the Epilogue to What Have I Done? It is the end of this journey (for now ;))  
> It describes how a character feels when she is giving birth, although I do not describe the actual birth itself.
> 
> Epilogue of the sequel to: In Another Time, Another Place (Loki x OC) Ch1
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it. If you did, share the link!

# A/N: Graphic description of this character's experience of giving birth. It does NOT describe what will happen to you, should you choose to have children. It has been dramatised to give you feels. Read at your own risk. Giving birth is different for every woman who goes through it. And, of course - this is  _fiction!_

  
**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**  
  
  
In a scruffy-looking ramshackle building in the area surrounding the docks, well away from the Palace and other areas of fighting, something miraculous was happening. Through the door hidden behind packing crates and down the stairs in a cellar, a soul forge held a body. A soul forge was not something that would normally be found in a place like this; it was hard-won and was kept here in utmost secrecy.

 

“Martika!” a wizened healing woman, who tended members of ACPoS when they were injured, shook the Jotúun girl awake. “Martika – come quickly!”

The girl roused herself from the chair she had fallen asleep in whilst keeping a watch out over the body of her friend and crossed quickly to the soul forge, hope ablaze in her eyes and excitement building in her body.  _Please!_  She thought.  _Please let this happen!_

 

The news from one of the grooms that Loki had taken Sleipnir two weeks before and had ridden for Helheimr had meant only one thing – he was going to try to return Aida from the underworld. They had had to come up with something really quickly in order to get their valuable assassin back. The coup had been something ACPoS had been planning for a long time; positioning people in the Palace and getting infrastructure in place, so they had simply brought it forward. They had employed the services of a rogue Mage to retrieve Aida’s body and to supply them with the fire of a Daemon to cover their tracks. The attempted coup was merely a distraction.

 

Martika looked down through the orange mist of the soul forge at her friend.

“Bjorn needs to see this.” She said and she ran down a short corridor to the small dormitory.

“Bjorn, wake up.” she said and patted the sleeping man on his shoulder. “Bjorn, it is time.”

The dark haired man sat up quickly, rubbing the sleep from his deep brown eyes. He threw back the covers and followed her back to the main room where the healer had lit various incenses and was meditating next to Aida’s body.

 

As they looked on, a white glow appeared at the top of the stairs near the door to the building. It started to descend and a tall graceful figure of a woman carrying a baby in her arms became evident within the light as it did so. She crossed the room and approached the soul forge, where she paused and looked down in silent contemplation at the body lying there. She moved forwards and then lay down and sank into the body and disappeared. As the white light faded from view, Aida suddenly gasped, drew in an almighty breath then screamed out in pain.

 

“She must give birth immediately!” Cried the healer. “The child will die if she does not. Administer the birthing potion.”

 

Martika gently poured a little of some yellow liquid out of a phial into the corner of Aida’s mouth, being careful not to choke her. Aida swallowed reflexively, still unconscious, but clearly alive. Another contraction racked her body and her unseeing eyes flew open as she screamed again. Bjorn held her down and the healer controlled the soul forge in an attempt to keep the girl and her baby alive as Martika managed to get Aida to swallow the rest of the birthing potion. Suddenly Aida’s eyes focussed and she turned to look at her surroundings, but before she could say anything another contraction came and she groaned in agony. The healer channelled pain relief into her through the soul forge and Martika leaned forward to take her hand. As she did this, Aida’s eyes found her.

 

“Martika?” It was a faint whisper on her blue lips.

 

“Hush, it’s fine. We are here. Aida, you are giving birth; please let us help you.”

 

“Giving birth……?” Aida’s consciousness began to slip away again.

“Stay with us, Aida!” pleaded Martika and Aida focussed on her once more.

“She is crowning!” Called the healer. “Just once more, Aida, then it will be all over.”

 

And so, Loki’s son was born. As the healer began her ministrations to nurse both mother and child back to full health, a pact was made in that room. No one would ever know the true origins of this child.

 

Back in Helheimr, Loki’s daughter, Hel, watched as the two white souls faded and began their journey back to life. While she did so, she realised that something was not quite right. The faint image of the room they landed in was not a healing room of the Palace and the people surrounding her were not Palace healers – nor was Loki anywhere to be seen amongst them. Where on Asgard had they gone? Unfortunately, her vision did not stretch far enough, nor was it powerful enough for her to divine the location.

 

Loki quashed the coup in his deadly rampage. He spared no one. Rebels and innocents alike fell before the deadly Gungnir in his blind rage, until all battle had ceased and a silence fell upon Asgard. Hel’s army swelled by hundreds that day and Loki knew the time was getting near to call upon them.

 

He would have his time.

 

He would bring Ragnarok.


End file.
